|My Angel - Post Op|
If you know me, even a little, you know that I love children. When your faith is faltering and you seek a glimpse of integrity and grace in this oft jaded life, you will doubtless find what you seek in the actions of a child. Don’t look to narcissistic, vacant, unimaginative adults who think their baseless wisdom will lead them to understand love … look at the children. Really study them. Their grace is effortless; their intentions, honest; their hearts, well their hearts are truly miraculous.
Ruthferlie was visiting clinic to see the orthopedic doctors for her bowlegs. Nothing need be done but wait that problem out and let her grow. She had an umbilical hernia too so Kevin asked me to see her. When I walked into the room her huge eyes locked on me and would not leave. She was sitting in a chair next to her mom and as I started to ask questions through a translator, Ruthferlie got off the chair and came to me. I was standing, continuing to talk to her mom, and she just wrapped her arms around my left leg and hugged – really hugged me. I put my hand on her head as I continued to nonchalantly talk to her mom but inside, my heart was overwhelmed as her little body clung so tightly.
Children know. Children see what is in your heart. They see the good, and the bad, the victory and the struggle. They see the pain and the beauty, the hope and the despair. Not only do they see it, but the special ones, they try to fix it. After I examined her, I left Ruthferlie with her mom and retrieved the paper work I needed to complete. When I walked back into the room, Ruthferlie walked into my arms and I filled out the forms with her tiny body propped on my left hip, as she squeezed me with all her might. It was 90 degrees that day and every bony inch of her was radiating that heat – she was literally warming me with her love.
That child will never know the gift she gave me that day. All I did was fix her belly button, but she snuck into my heart and fixed some of the broken with pure, unadulterated,* love. If you want to understand love, the really, really, good kind, let a child teach you.
*pun completely intentional
(disclaimer: There are plenty of adults I know who love with the vulnerable purity and grace of children. My point is more that children know this love effortlessly. In my experience, adults often struggle through circumstance and ego, while floundering at the process of getting back to honest, fearless, unconditional love ... The title of this blog is a joke ... I really know nothing about love - but I keep trying to learn from the ones who do it best.)